Iris Blood
For many years, I have kept “books:” hardbound, softbound, journals, diaries or sketchbooks filled with writings, thoughts, psychological exercises, life aspirations, brain dumps, grumblings, philosophy, tarot readings, drawings, schematics, doodles, ideas, chapter titles, schedules, lists, calorie intakes, notes, reviews, quotes, queries and further stuffed with post-it notes, scraps of paper and, lately, metallic, colored star stickers (like the kind I recall from elementary school). I don’t know how many I have in total but in ten seconds, I counted 35 here in my studio and there are still many hiding in storage, whispering to me of pasts I continue to neglect.
If paper ephemera were not enough, you are also witness, here, to yet another platform of collecting (and sorting), my website and “blog.” I am hoping to experiment with different ways of approaching and creating an “organizing principle” for this collection outside of burning the whole lot on a frozen pond (more to that at a later date).
Why, when you could just leave it to Death’s dumpster? Fabulous question! I have a practice I call The Five Why’s where, you guessed it, I ask “why” five times (once is NOT enough, you simply end up fooling yourself…).
So, here goes…
Why?
to investigate and untangle a knotted and tightly bound past…
Why?
to see if what I’m “meant to be” comes to light and remember what called to me before I turned away, what I missed…
Why?
Because I was, at least in part, lost for a long time and now I’m playing catch up in an effort not to lose more to illusory regrets and real neglect…
Why?
I transformed…I wasn’t sure it was possible but I did it and, as the saying rumbles, “If I can do it, you can do it”…or maybe you already did and you can share with me…
Why?
Because it’s time to connect…with me, with you, with a fundamental consciousness I swear I can feel in and beyond my bones…
And that’s enough to get started.
Here’s an exploration of a beginning which loops to the end…
Above: Iris Blood No. 1, pencil, iris “blood” and watercolor on Arches paper.
Below: Progress photo of Iris Blood No. 1 with No. 2 and, “the model,” a bearded iris I grew (I believe this cultivar is “Anvil of Darkness”) from which I extracted the pigments to create the works on paper. I keep on painting throughout its decay and changing the composition each session (a little like Portrait of Dorian Gray).The blue and browns you see in the piece above are actually pigments from the iris flower itself. I have been testing their staying power for a couple of years now and it’s looking pretty good, minor tint changes usually occur in the first weeks (evaporation and oxidization?) but then appears stable.
All images © Anna Noelle Rockwell
